I just made out with a guy for $7.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
as a side note pls kill me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
