Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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