rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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