Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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