: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
