Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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