I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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