We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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