i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think i have two assholes
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
