So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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