so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
