yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
