Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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