i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize