Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Randomize
