Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
