But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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