party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
