Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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