in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
