how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
