you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this just has baby written all over it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
