Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
