And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
