Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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