josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
