I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
