I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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