just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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