So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
