he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Randomize
