This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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