tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
