I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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