I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
