Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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