Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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