We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
