how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
