we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
