I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As shirtless as possible
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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