I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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