Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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