I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
