on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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