I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
