Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you win again, gameday.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
