I want to have your abortion
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
