Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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