One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
