He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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